Wednesday, 1/15/14

Mom's been struggling for the past few days and weighed in at 113.  We canceled my cousin's visit because mom is just not up for company after her fall and now she has another UTI because she's not drinking enough fluids....thus more confusion and agitation. The nurse spoke to her today about drinking more fluids, we'll see how that goes. She wouldn't take her meds this morning or eat breakfast because she thought she had already done so.  I was finally able to convince her at around 11 to drink an Ensure and take the meds. She is still agitated tonight but did eat a little.  Dad and I discussed the fluid and food issue with the nurse privately and she said it's all part of the declining process.  Today it appears she's giving up.  I'm hoping it's just because of the UTI and she's more positive tomorrow.  

Dad and I had a nice long chat about next week, when Mike and I leave for San Francisco.  Although hospice would be available 24/7, it might be better that mom be placed in respite care for the days we are gone.  That way dad can have a little break as well.  Just when we started talking about it the hospice chaplain called (timing again).  I spoke to her about it and she agreed.  She'll be here on Friday for a visit and we'll discuss it more then.     

Wish I had better news on this post, but that's what is going on.  

Mom and Dad at
Mt. Soledad War Memorial
2013

Monday, 1/13/14

On Saturday, after the Seahawks win, Dad and Mike went to get Chinese take-out. Mom was happily sitting in her family room watching the next game and I went into the kitchen-- with the baby monitor (carry it with me to keep in touch with her) to put brownies in the oven. I couldn't have been in the kitchen for more than 5 minute then all of a sudden I heard a "thud" and a scream. Dropped everything and ran like crazy - mom tried to get to the bathroom by herself and fell on her shoulder and hit her head. She decided to go herself without telling me because she forgot she was so weak and thought she could do it herself. Hospice came then the ambulance. I've been on the verge of a breakdown because of the guilt...but the hospice nurse said these things happen, even when they are in the homes and not to be too hard on myself...well, yeah..like that's gonna happen.

They did x-rays and a CT Scan and nothing was broken, which was surprising and she had no concussion.  She is one tough lady!  She was sent home (I warmed up the Chinese food and she ate a little) and we monitored her throughout the night.  Yesterday she stayed in bed most of the day and is experiencing pain from the fall which was to be expected. She had no appetite at dinner again but I went ahead and fixed her a light meal of scrambled eggs, toast and peaches and she ate half of it.  

It's 3:30 a.m. and she and dad are awake.  She was having problems getting in a comfortable sleeping position.  Dad moved her to the middle of the bed and she was able to get situated and dad is snoozing on the recliner in their family room (I can hear his storing through the baby monitor - lol).  

My son Robert, Mom and Dad at
Oceanside Harbor.

January 11, 2014

Mom has had a rough couple of days and we had to call in a hospice nurse last night.  She didn't leave the house until 12:30 a.m.  I took the overnight shift as mom has been getting up about every hour due to her bladder.  She needs assistance getting in and out of bed as her legs are so weak.  Dad slept in our living room so he could get some uninterrupted sleep and the minute his head hit the pillow he was out.  Mom's stomach finally settled down and she fell asleep around 2:30.  She only got up once after that which was quite an improvement.  I'll take a nap once dad wakes up...hopefully today will be better.

The baby monitor has been wonderful ... the one dad and I carry around has a walkie-talkie function so all mom does is talk and we can answer her if we're in the kitchen or somewhere else...mom feels more secure knowing she has access to us 100% of the time now.

My cousin, Iley and her husband are coming down on Monday from Modesto to see mom....I'm sure that will lift mom's spirits and I know it will for dad and I.  I'll take some pictures from the visit to share.

It's odd without Mikey (mom and dad's dog) around...Petey and Coco are still looking around for him. Mom is doing okay with his passing now, I printed the picture I posted a few days ago and she has it framed on her dresser and looks at it all the time.  Petey and Coco have been visiting her more often -- they must know she needs them.  I also brought Derby in to see her (my parrot) ... she loves seeing him flap his wings and cuddle with me.

What a beauty!!!!!

January 8, 2014

Mom's aide came over and gave her a shower and I set her hair.  She felt so much better and sat up for quite awhile before going back to bed for a nap.  While she was sleeping, their loving dog, "Mikey",  (he was already named when they got him) got really sick. He's been blind for awhile but still able to move around until yesterday. He was panting really heavy and couldn't walk. We called the vet and he recommended he be put down. We all tearfully said our good-byes to a wonderful companion and family member. 

We were worried about how this was going to affect mom but she knew it was the right thing to do as he was suffering. All she wanted was to cuddle with him awhile so I lifted him up on her bed until she was ready to say good-bye.  Later on she got up and dad took her out for a short drive and they grabbed a burger and shake.  Mom finished almost all of it and when they got home she was able to stay up longer than the previous day.  She would start crying a little here and there and I cried right along with her. We agreed that although we'll miss him, he's definitely free of pain and in a better place.  Also, we're fortunate we still have two other dogs and two birds...if Mikey were the only pet, the house would have been excruciatingly empty. 

1/7/14

Mom and Dad had a good time on their "outing" on Friday.  The did end up at Valley View for some slot machine action and had dinner there.  They have the best tomato basil soup that mom absolutely loves so she had that as well as fresh bread.  It might not sound like much to us but if she eats a whole bowl of soup with bread, that is a great improvement.  She was very tired when they got home and she sat down on the sofa in our living room to let me know what she played, etc., and fell asleep.  She did that several times during our conversation so I convinced her to go to bed and we'd catch up in the morning.  Late Saturday morning mom was still in bed and throughout the day she continued to sleep.  It continued that way through Sunday and part of Monday. Mom has never reacted to outings like this before so we know she's weakening faster than expected.  We were able to keep her up long enough to eat and take her meds though so she was comfortable.

Pilar, our home health aide, will be here today to help mom shower, etc., and Maddie, the nurse, will be here tomorrow for a check-up.  Maddie has called almost every day to see how mom is doing which I really appreciate.  She's a sweetie and mom really likes her.  We haven't met Pilar yet but based on conversations on the phone she sounds just as sweet as Maddie.  Once mom is done with her shower we'll open up Patti's beauty shop and I'll set and style her hair.  That's one of my favorite things to do... :)

One of my favorite pictures.  Mom and Dad in the
back of the van getting ready to head up to
Washington in 2009.  

January 3, 2014

Yesterday, mom was in bed most of the day but got up for dinner and stayed up until around 10:00 p.m. We were able to have a nice chat - and reminisced about Moses Lake, the Island and the many times Mike and I visited them while they were living in Las Vegas and had so many great times.  She and dad both told me yesterday they knew they could always depend on Mike and I and didn't know what they would have done without us.  That made me feel so warm inside....but at the same time sad, because there was someone else they should have been able to depend on as well, especially now, but that never happened and it looks like it never will. I'm venting a  little because although mom and dad put up a good front, they are hurt and they don't deserve it. I started the New Year with an attempt to bridge the gap for their sake, but as of today that attempt, although received, was not acknowledged.  I didn't have the heart to tell mom and dad because I knew it would devastate them even more. I wanted to try one last time to provide an opportunity to avoid the regrets that will most certainly surface later on ... I pray I'm wrong and that the opportunity was not ignored but being considered .... always the optimist!

Enough of that...I just had to get that off my chest.  Now on to the positive.  Mom woke up late this morning and was all smiles.  She ate breakfast, got dressed and asked Dad to take her for a ride. I usually go with them but I got the feeling they wanted some quiet time alone so I declined their invitation.  I'm only a phone call away and Dad's still a good driver, so I'm not worried.  Who knows ... depending on where they end up (a casino I presume!!!!), Mike and I may join them later for an evening of more fun and frolic.  We asked hospice about mom going out to casinos and they said as long as she has the energy, it is a good way for her and dad to focus on something pleasant (unless they are losing - lol).  She loves the restaurant at Valley View too so I know she'll eat well again today.

Another wonderful day!!!

Visiting our "other" family, the Rye's and Beutler's
when we took our vacation to Washington and Oregon
in 2009.

Happy New Year

We welcomed in the New Year with the sun shining and the ocean very blue!  Mom is doing really well today, up and moving around.  We all worked on dinner (prime rib, fruit salad, mashed potatoes, green beans, black eyed peas, and homemade horseradish sauce) with the exception of Uncle Ray.  He hurt his back so he's resting in the recliner.  Waiting now for the roast to be done then we'll have a true feast.

Yesterday mom had another outstanding day and I cooked a turkey breast with cranberry sauce and she cleaned her plate.  I was thrilled.  She's excited about the prime rib and I'm hoping she'll eat as well as she did yesterday.  I'm sure she'll be napping after dinner - but she did say she'd love to go to the beach to watch the sunset so we'll probably do that before.

I'm so relieved things have improved for mom, she's so much happier and we're all more relaxed.  A wonderful way to bring in the New Year!