Final Post

Mom's Obituary

Helen Claudine (Davis) Swear

Helen Swear passed away peacefully on February 12, 2014 in her home in Vista, CA surrounded by her loved ones. She was born Helen Claudine Davis on May 11, 1927 to Claude and Nellie Davis in Walla, Walla, WA. She graduated from Walla Walla High School and Eastern State college. She met Harold Swear, her husband of 62 years while he was stationed at Larson Air Force Base, Moses Lake, WA and married on March 10, 1951. Their military life included assignments at Larson AFB, Bentwaters AFB – England, Mountain Home AFB – Mountain Home – ID, Nouasseur AFB – Morocco, Francis E. Warren AFB – Cheyenne, WY, and a return to Larson AFB where Harold retired. Helen taught Kindergarten in Idaho and Morocco, worked for the Post Office in Moses Lake, WA and they owned Casey Music in Moses Lake, WA and Wenatchee, WA.

After retirement, she and Harold relocated to Las Vegas, NV in the early 90's where they entertained and played tour-guide to many of their family and friends. In 2012 they relocated to their daughter's home in Vista, CA due to declining health.

She is survived and will be dearly missed by her loving husband Harold of Vista, CA; daughter Patti (Michael) of Vista, CA; daughter Diane (Luis) Cerna of Hutto, TX; grandson Robert (Shannan) Cleghorn and great-granddaughters (MaKenzee and Madalynn) of Muir, MI; granddaughter Corrie Smith - grandson John Cerna and great-grandsons (Andrew, Zachary and Marcus) of Arlington, WA; Corey (Michael) Brannum and great-grandsons (Dennen and Merrick) of Spokane, WA and Jillian (Richard) Thomas and great-granddaughters (Isabel and Madaline) of Wales; brother-in-law Raymond Swear of Vista, CA; two “adopted” daughters Sharon (Jeff) Zornes and grandson Thomas in Stafford, VA and Kerrie Long of Sydney, Australia, plus cousins, nieces, nephews and a multitude of friends she considered family. Welcoming her at the gates of Heaven were her parents – Nellie and Claude Davis, sisters Shirley Davis Yancey and Genevieve Davis Bowman; brother Kenneth Davis and three special angels.

At her request, no services will be held. The family requests donations be made in her name to Mission Hospice of San Diego, CA 2365 Northside Drive, Suite 100 – San Diego, CA 92108. Their care and compassion went above and beyond.

Helen Claudine Swear - 5/11/27 to 2/12/14

My beautiful mom passed away at 4:20 a.m., my hands on her shoulders and dad holding her hand.  She is now at peace and with Jesus.

I want to thank everyone that showed their care and concern by visiting, calls, e-mails and Facebook posts. Mom knew of each and every message. Dad, Michael, Ray and I are comforted knowing mom passed with all of your thoughts and prayers

Please be comforted knowing she was surrounded by those who truly loved her when she started her new journey.

There will be no services; however, we are requesting that donations be made in her name to Mission Hospice - 2365 Northside Drive, Suite 100 - San Diego, CA  92108.  The staff was invaluable to us and it's what mom would have wanted.

 

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Mom is still with us; she's having a bath today and the nurse will be over to check on her.  She doesn't react anymore when dad and I move her to a new position, but I know she still hears us.

I have another blog www.gridirongrannyfootballfanatic.blotspot.com that is used for my author platform. Yesterday's topic was to describe our hero, real or one we use in our fiction.  This is what I wrote:

Step three on a current writer's Blog Hop calls for us to provide a character sketch of our hero, be it real or one from a novel we've written.

I've not written a novel yet, in fact, I'm just now venturing into fiction, but even if I had, I would still select my true life hero...whose bed I'm sitting next to right now, waiting for Jesus to call her home... my mom.

This incredible woman is the epitome of selflessness and unconditional love.  She reached out to many people in need during her life, and sacrificed a great deal to make sure her family was happy and healthy. She stood by my dad throughout his military career, making a home wherever we were living, be it England, North Africa or stateside.

What truly makes her my hero is her steadfast faith in God and ability to forgive.  You see, she ended up with me.  In my late teens I turned away from God and ventured into a life of promiscuity and alcoholism for twenty-five years.  She suffered a great deal, having to deal with my antics and the cruel (albeit true) gossip of a small town.  Being a Christian woman with high morals and values, my actions devastated her but not once did she close the door, even when I demeaned and maligned her.

It took many years before I reconnected with God, sobered up and became the woman I am today and I credit God and my mom for that.  He never left me, nor did she.

As I sit here watching her, hours on end, I see a woman who not only gave me life, but saved it as well through her endless love and forgiveness.  She has definitely earned a special place in Heaven and all I can say is, " Mom, you fought the hard fight and were victorious.  Rest well - and know I love you more than words can express."

An unsung hero is Michael.  He has put up with my full range of emotions throughout like a champion.  He's held me, dried my tears and spends time with mom in the morning before work and when he gets home.  He also been picking up dinner almost every night (we're not cooking much these days), on his way home from work.  I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful man in my life.

A cute thing happened last night.  Coco jumped up on the recliner, looked at mom and jumped over to her bed, checked her and laid down.  I've posted a picture...but out of respect for mom, I cropped it.  I thought it was precious....

Mom and Mike

Coco keeping watch

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Mom stayed unresponsive throughout the night but this morning when I was putting water on her lips her eyes opened up. She stayed that way for about an hour, not being able to speak but you could read her eyes.  She even winked at dad.  Taylor, one of our wonderful nurses, came today and checked in and helped us get mom freshened up.  She's back to being unresponsive but very serene. 

Dad and I have been on a "hunt" since last night, trying to find mom's wedding ring.  She removes her jewelry before she goes to sleep and hides it in a variety of different places.  We searched high and low ...  finally, about an hour ago we decided to go through her purse once more ... I opened up a tiny compartment in her wallet and there it was.  Mystery solved.  We would have been heartbroken if it had been lost.

John just left to go back to Seattle and it was very hard for him to say good-bye to mom.  They had a very special and close relationship and mom was always so very proud of him.  We are all grateful he was able to come down, and that mom knew he was here. 

Dad, Me & John
Right before he left.......

I want to thank Deacon Mike Early and his wife, Pat who came over and prayed over mom and with us last night.  I'm sure mom heard every word and was at peace and I know we were all comforted beyond words.

Saturday, February 8, 2014

John arrived late afternoon yesterday and mom's face lit up and was able to talk to him for a little while.  She loved his beard. 


At around 1:30 or 2:00 this morning she slipped into a semi-comatose state.  We continued to watch her to see if we could rouse her but no real response.  We called hospice and the nurse came right over.  We spoke about a catheter and the nurse agreed it might be a good idea but after three attempts she stopped.  Evidently there is blockage; however, she's not distended so at this point she's okay.  Jen (nurse) said dad and I are doing a good job as mom shows absolutely no signs of discomfort and no bedsores at all.  Dad and I have made sure to keep moving her from time to time.  She also said that based on mom's coloring she thinks mom will be going home today or at the latest tomorrow. 


It's strange...I've been able to "stuff" my emotions physically, stifling tears, but yesterday they flowed freely...I didn't think I was going to stop.  Dad and Mike said it's mostly exhaustion but I think it's reality sinking in (and maybe a little exhaustion).  The tears did help though as I was able to sleep a little this morning after dad woke up.  Being the weekend, Mike is able to sit with mom and John as well so there's a little more time for rest.


It's a beautiful, sunny day so I have the door open a little so mom can feel the breeze.  She loves open windows and I think it's helping her with comfort.  I watched ice-skating this morning and told her what I was seeing and I put Fox news on for awhile as she is a fan of that. 


Again, thanks for the messages and phone calls.  It means so much to all of us.

Mom and Dad at their favorite place...
Oceanside Beach.

Please click the following link for some wonderful photos of Mom and Dad....the memory book created for their 60th Wedding Anniversary.

http://www.mixbook.com/photo-books/family/mom-and-dad-s-60th-anniversary-tribute-5157589?vk=NAncArL3Jr

Friday, 2/7/14

Mom's nurse just left.  They've increased her morphine and lorazipam as she became restless.  She's not talking clearly anymore but opens her eyes from time to time.  My nephew John should be landing in about twenty minutes and should be at the house forty-five minutes from then.  I believe mom is holding on for him to arrive.

Kerrie from Australia called yesterday and mom was able to speak to her briefly and she also spoke to my son Bobby.  Both phone calls brought her peace.  We've been truly blessed with all the care and concern received from everyone, via phone, e-mail and Facebook as well as those who have been able to visit.  We understand that many of you cannot visit, and please do not feel bad. If you want to call you can, (760) 305-8044.  I don't know if mom would be able to talk but she still hears and please know we feel your presence, thoughts and prayers.  I tell mom every time anyone sends her a message and she nods...so she does know you are with her.

Dad slept for quite awhile last night which was wonderful...I was able to grab a couple of hours after he got up.  We're playing really soft music in mom's room and the fireplace is on....the dogs are keeping watch over her with dad and I, Uncle Ray as well... and Mike sits with her when he comes home from work and before he leaves. She's never alone.

I apologize for my little breakdown yesterday, dad and I are exhausted and obviously under a great deal of stress.  We're in better shape today as we know mom is going to remain comfortable with the increased medication and that John will be here soon.

Thursday, 2/6/14

It's 4:11 a.m., and I haven't slept yet.  Mom woke up at around 1:30 a.m. and said she knew she was dying and wanted to make sure everything was taken care of.  Dad and I assured her everything was fine and not to worry.  I promised her I would take good care of Dad and make sure he stays out of trouble...she smiled at that. 

She was worried about the rift in our family and wanted it to be over. I asked her if she wanted to make a phone call.  Mom said yes. Dad and I had our reservations about it but one more olive branch wouldn't hurt. She was able to talk and say her good-byes and hear the words, I Love You,  but sadly Dad and my olive branch was ignored again.  I think Mom was aware of the slight, but we didn't say anything, pretending things were just fine... as she needs to be at peace.  Dad and I are both very disappointed and disgusted that someone could be so utterly selfish, inconsiderate and unwilling to see the damage incurred through irresponsible words and actions.  Dad and I have nothing but forgiveness in our hearts, but that forgiveness cannot be accepted unless the recipient is willing to take responsibility.  We now know now that's not going to happen and will move on.

Her breathing is getting more and more shallow which is why I've not slept.  I keep waiting for that last breath.  She smiles from time to time in her sleep and I'm hoping she's reliving all the wonderful times she had throughout her life.  We put the dogs in mom's bed early this morning and although her eyes weren't open, she knew they were there.  She muttered both of their names and said she was going to miss them. 

Mike and I's closest friends came over yesterday and spent several hours with mom and dad.  Mom recognized them and was so happy they came to visit.  They have been so good to her and dad and they don't know how much it's appreciated. 

John arrives tomorrow from Seattle.  It will be a bittersweet visit but his coming means so much to all of us, especially mom, who still remembers that he coming.

I know I'm ranting, but I'm tired,  the time is close and I'm scared.  Not just about losing mom,  but for those who will be carrying regrets that could have been so easily avoided.

It's now 7:50 a.m., dad woke up so I'm going to take a nap.