We're going through a lot of ups and downs since last I wrote. Mom's experiencing more pain but fortunately we are able to give her morphine at closer intervals. I'm giving her liquid morphine which is so much easier for her to get down. Her appetite has decreased again, all she had today was an eighth of a fresh maple bar. We're going to try some soup for dinner. She's also confused, can't remember what's being said five minutes after we say it. We had to explain to her several times about going to respite care, but at least every time we did she was okay with it. I told her she's getting a much needed vacation from all of us and she laughed. I'm so glad Dad will be able to take some time for himself and get some rest and if anything serious happens, I'll only be a two-hour flight away.
Our wonderful nurse Maddie broke her ankle so her replacement came today. We discussed mom's eating habits again, but there's nothing we can do except try to get an Ensure down her. She didn't even want that today. So hard watching her fade away. We had her port checked that they put in for chemo (it's not being used) as last night it started bleeding. I cleaned and bandaged it but didn't like the way it looked. The nurse said the skin is degrading around that area (similar to a bedsore) because mom's skin is so thin...all we can do is continue with the bandages and neosporin.
We'll take her over to respite tomorrow afternoon to get her settled in so tonight we'll get some of her personal items together. Won't have to be much as she'll only be there until Sunday.
UPDATE 9:44 P.M.
Mom did eat almost a whole bowl of soup and a Starbuck's Frappucino so that was a plus. Mike provided the room-service as mom can't move around much at all. She tries to walk with the walker but it's too much for her so she sits on it and we push her around....we have a power chair but she wants to use the walker. She continues to be in pain. Based on the numerous locations, it's obvious the cancer is continuing to spread quickly. I gave her some more morphine and will keep one ear open through the night if she needs more - I have the baby monitor right next to me. I'm still sleeping on the recliner most of the time so I won't disturb Michael in the night. Dad prefers me giving her the liquid meds because reading the small numbers on the syringes is hard for him. Gave Dad a haircut tonight (military shave) so he feels "lighter" and he took time away to get a pedicure earlier in the afternoon. It relaxes him having his legs massaged, etc., and being pampered...when we get back I'm going to try and find someone to come to the house to do the same for mom. I think she would like that.
Still feel a little guilty leaving but mom and dad both insisted we go...I know she's in good hands and her hospice team will be visiting her at the facility as well as dad and Uncle Ray.
Still no response from the "olive branch" I extended so evidently my view of what's in the best interest of mom and dad is not shared. It's sad because I think not grabbing that branch will result in future regrets...but at least I tried...
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