Getting into the spirit....

Mom's soreness from her fall is better, her black eye is getting larger and bruises have formed on her cheek.  I suppose she'll be that way for a few more weeks.

We have an appointment with her oncologist next Friday to get answers on where the cancer originated and determine the next course.

Tomorrow we start decorating the house and it should be a fun day.  We'll put on favorite Christmas tunes to put us in the spirit.  Can hardly wait to see the finished product!  Mom loves decorating and she's been talking about it quite a bit so I'm sure it's going to be beautiful!!!

One of my favorites....mom and dad's reaction looking
at the memory book we created for their 60th
wedding anniversary.
Priceless!

Thankful

Happy Thanksgiving!

We'll be picking up our dinner earlier on this morning....

My mom is so cute...she insisted on setting the table last night and it looks beautiful!  She and dad made our traditional cranberry relish and salad...my stomach is growling already!

Mom and Dad received a beautiful bouquet of flowers from dear friends Jay and Mary yesterday and they are the centerpiece on our table.  They were mom and dad's neighbors in Las Vegas and became family very quickly.  They are in constant contact with us and we truly appreciate their concern, support and friendship.

When contemplating gratitude on this day, I'm grateful for all of our family and friends who have stood by us in thick and thin and who are always offering us all words of encouragement and love through the difficult times we are facing.

I'm grateful Mom, Dad, Uncle Ray and my husband will be sitting around the dinner table this afternoon.

Me & Mom

Dad and Mike

Uncle Ray, Mom and Dad

The Day After

Mom is doing better but has a big shiner.  She's sore from the fall as well but in very good spirits this morning.  She's chatting about being able to take a shower this morning so she can wash her hair and what she wants to wear for Thanksgiving dinner.

Her biopsy went well yesterday and praise God they didn't go into the bone.  They changed the method and took tissue from one of her lymph nodes which was less invasive and painful.  We were all very tired from being up the night before so the day was filled with naps once we got her home.  I had a radio interview yesterday morning and was hoping my lack of sleep didn't result in my snoring on the air!

Mike and I pulled out the Christmas decorations so once Thanksgiving is over we can start decking the halls.  We're putting the tree in the bay window so it will be directly behind the Blessed Mother grotto in the garden.  Decorating the tree is one of mom's favorite things to do so we'll start sorting ornaments, etc., after tomorrow.  Since they brought all theirs from when they moved her I can hardly wait to see them...as many are from my childhood.  More wonderful memories!

Mom & "Sis" Sharon
on our last visit to Moses Lake


THANKSGIVING BLESSINGS TO EVERYONE!

Tough Day

Dad drove mom to the hospital supply store yesterday afternoon and when they were leaving mom was moving a little too fast and missed the curb.  She fell and hit her head on the blacktop.  The store owner came out as well as other concerned observers and assisted her and dad.  The ambulance came within minutes and the paramedics called me to let me know what happened.  Mike and I rushed over to the hospital just as mom and dad got there.  The sight of mom, head covered in blood and a large goose egg on it was frightening.  Dad was white as a sheet so Mike took him home to calm down and I stayed with mom.  She started crying because she thought she was a burden to me.  I laughed and reminded her of the time I was hit in the head with a baseball bat and she sat with me...I told her she was just paying me back!  That made her smile and said, "I guess I am!".  The ER staff consisted of the most compassionate and caring people ever.  She had a ct scan and x-rays and nothing was broken but she had sprained her shoulder and had a mild concussion.  We brought her home and she's resting.  Mike and I are taking turns sitting in their family room so we can wake her up every two hours throughout the night...it's 12:30 am now and she's doing fine.  She tried to talk us into not standing watch and that she'd be okay so we made her think we were going to bed.  Mike is in there now and I'm going to take a snooze until 2:30.  Dad wanted to take a shift too but because he was so upset, we decided to let him sleep through the night, he needed it.

It's bad enough what she's already facing to have the fall happen. Sometimes I wonder why her...and I'm sure God is aware of the questions I'm holding in my heart.  I know the only thing I can do is be there for her and to trust in Him.

Mom & Dad
the day Mike & I had our marriage blessed.
4/8/06

Monday Morning

After the exhilarating football games yesterday, we all decided we had been cooped up too long.  We went out for dinner and a little entertainment at mom's favorite place.  It's obvious she's getting weaker, as we didn't stay out as long as we usually do...and she just picked at her dinner.  She's a little confused this morning and her stomach is upset again.  I told her to just relax and take a little nap but she says she feels guilty if she does that (yep, that's my mom).  When she feels guilty about napping I tell her I'll join her...that usually works. Hopefully she'll feel a little better this afternoon.

She fasts tonight and has her bone biopsy tomorrow.  She'll be at the hospital for four hours then will come home...hopefully in not too much discomfort.

Here's another one of my favorite pictures - Mom and Dad on our vacation in Madrid, Spain.

Plans are in place...

Plans are all completed for Thanksgiving.  We didn't know if we would go out to dinner (to make it easy) or cook dinner (for the leftovers).  Well, we compromised.  We are ordering a full dinner from Mimi's Cafe.  Everything is included, all we have to do is reheat the turkey...so we'll have all the aromas,the leftovers and we'll still make mom's wonderful cranberry relish and salad...without all the work.

After Thanksgiving we are going to start decorating for Christmas.  Mom and I decided to put the tree in the bay window, and Mike and I know where all the lights are going.  We're going to really deck out the house this year, inside and out. The only thing we're still trying to figure out how to decorate the cactus garden outside the bay window that holds the statue of our Blessed Mother.

I'm having a hard time knowing this will be mom's last Christmas season with us but comforted knowing the next season she'll be with Christ and with us in spirit.

This is the garden right when we planted it...the plants are quite a bit larger now...
Leave a message if you have any decorating ideas.
                                   

Trip Down Memory Lane

I was thinking back on 2009 today.  Mike and I took Mom and Dad back up to Washington for two week vacation.  We drove from Las Vegas up to Washington, down to Oregon then back to Las Vegas.  Driving was the perfect way to go as we stopped whenever we wanted to and it gave us time to chat about all the old times.  We went to Walla Walla where mom was born and raised and visited my grandparents' graves.  We were also blessed to be able to go inside the house where mom was raised.  It had been totally remodeled but when we went inside you could still feel the air of familiarity and although much larger, the main part of the house had the same floorplan.  Mom and I recalled where each piece of furniture was and enjoyed walking through the side and back yard where the trees my grandparents planted had thrived and grown tall.  When we went to Moses Lake we met up with old friends and drove around "the base" where dad had been stationed before it closed.  We went by all the houses we lived in, the places dad worked and where mom and dad's music store used to be.  It was sad so much had changed but at least we had memories.  We went across the mountains and stopped to visit Mike's sister and then on to Seattle to see my nephew John's family.  After that we went to the Portland area to visit our oldest and dearest friends...the Rye's.  They had been stationed with us in England before I was born and Tess (who has since passed) and Floyd almost delivered me in the back of the car on the way to the hospital.  We then drove back to Las Vegas through Reno.  We had many weekend trips to Reno when we lived in Washington and it brought back many fun memories there as well.

I'm so glad we took that trip, it was not only fun but I think brought us all closer together.  We laughed, cried and remembered.

Week's End

I received a beautiful e-mail from my Aussie Sis, Kerrie, today.  It was so wonderful hearing from her.  She wants so badly to see mom and I hope she does get the chance but traveling that distance as well a having elderly parents herself, I definitely understand if she can't.  Kerrie, my parents and I go way back when she was a foreign exchange student through the Lion's club in the 70's.  She instantly became a member of our family and that never changed. Whenever Mom talks to Kerrie on the phone you can see the true joy in her eyes.

I also got an e-mail from my cousin Fred who will be visiting from Washington after Christmas.  I was thrilled when he told me...and mom will be so happy to see him and his wife (as will we all!).  Fred has always had an exceptional sense of humor and ability to bring everyone to tears in laughter...which is what we all need.

Mom's bone biopsy is on Tuesday.  She'll be there for four hours and I'm sure after the procedure she'll be quite uncomfortable so we'll need to come up with some distractions...possibly a wild game of Yahtzee?

Another memory just surfaced:  This is the 50th anniversary of the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.  It was a terrible event in all of our lives. Mom was fortunate to have met him in Wyoming and he held her hand while speaking to her about the military getting raises. She came home after that and told dad he was getting a raise and he said to her, "Helen, how many times have I told you not to repeat anything unless you hear it directly from the horse's mouth?".  Well, you can just imagine the expression on his face when she told him where she heard it!!!

Here's a few more "memory" pics.  I'll be posting some of Kerrie and Fred later on...I have many to scan in to my computer.

Mom holding her first great-granddaughter, MaKenzee in 2006 with
Shannan and me.  

We ate too much lobster at lobster-fest!
2012

COINCIDENCE?

I am a night owl since retiring and do my best writing in the quiet of early morning hours.  I also do a lot of "Pinning".  It was about 11:00 p.m. and I was on my Pinterest site.  I have a board called "Dream on Homes", pictures of beautiful homes that I could probably handle living in (!).  For some odd reason I was compelled to see what real estate was available on Herron Island.   We had a weekend property there in the late 60's and my dad was starting to build a house.  They eventually sold the property and unfinished home because my sister and I were getting older and didn't want to go to "The Island" anymore and my folks were busy with their music store and dad's other job.   Well, was I just blown away when I happened upon a listing and the house looked really familiar.  IT WAS OUR HOUSE!  It was finished and beautiful! (And for sale).  I rushed into Mom and Dad's bedroom and woke mom up (bad Patti).  I showed her the picture and asked her if she knew what it was...she knew right away.  She woke up dad and he was shocked.  We looked at all the pictures in the listing and started talking about the fun times we had there. Mom then said, "Boy I would give anything to go back there."  I have to agree...it would be nice.

Now, as Leroy Jethro Gibbs always says, "I don't believe in coincidences".  God, in His infinite kindness, compelled me to look for that property...to bring more precious memories to light for mom.

Here's the link to the listing:  THE ISLAND

Friends

Mom is at the cardiologist now to have her pacemaker checked and we're still waiting to hear when her biopsy will be. The oncologist called and said they are going to do a bone biopsy as it would show more definitively where the cancer originated...and said the hospital will be calling sometime today to set up the appointment. I stayed home to catch that call and dad drove her to her appointment....

Dad and I realized something today that we hadn't considered before... but are now prepared for:  Mom was aware of the diagnosis as well as the prognosis and at first, obviously, she cried as did we all, but then she perked up and the time involved was not brought up again.  Because of her dementia she had forgotten. When the oncologist called this morning she had dad ask him how much time she had left.  After he ended the call Dad sat down and told her (realizing she had forgotten) and all the emotions spilled out again... I had just picked up a call from my dearest friend, Sue, and mom came into the living room and interrupted me with a question ...  "Patti, will you promise me something?  Will you make sure all the days I have left are good ones?"  Well, I lost it....but promised we all would, including Sue and her husband Bob...they love my parents as if they were their own and they're always here for us. With Uncle Ray and my wonderful husband the only immediate family around, it's good to know Dad and I have them as well as other friends willing to be here for support at any time.

Mom, Dad, Bob and Susan
Last Thanksgiving

Early Morning Coffee

I pulled an all-nighter working on a book so when the sun came up, Mike had already gone to work and I was on my third cup of coffee.  Mom surprised me by going into the kitchen, grabbing a cup of coffee and joining me the living room (she usually sleeps in).  We watched a little t.v. and then started talking about all sorts of stuff.  She said she had a dream of a recipe I shared with her and she woke up craving it!  (Shrimp with Lime).  We decided we were going to make it sometime this week once we found out what lime "zest" was...I'm not a foodie so didn't know what it was - thank goodness for Google!   We then got into a conversation about Thanksgiving ... cook here or go out. Guess we'll decide by this weekend...We both agreed it would be easier to go out but then we wouldn't  have all those wonderful leftovers and I so much love her cranberry salad and relish.  Decisions, Decisions.

We went through some pictures on my laptop - I have all sorts of albums saved.  She enjoyed going through the slides I converted over to jpeg, especially those from Morocco.

Here's one of those pictures:

Mom with our maid (Fatna Omar)
who we affectionately called Nanna.

The Weekend

For those of you who know my mom, you know she loves casinos.  For someone so frail, her walker will burn rubber if she sees a slot machine she wants to play.

Dad and I took her out on Friday night to her favorite place, Valley View, ate dinner and played.  What I really enjoyed was when all three of us were sitting side by side playing the same type of slot and having "contests"...giving each other a hard time when we have to "feed the beast".   We won some and lost some (heaven forbid we cash out and bring $$$ home!)  but a wonderful distraction.  We crept back into our home quietly (to avoid waking my husband and uncle) at around 1:00 a.m.

Because of Friday's adventure, Saturday was a day of rest and deciding what pictures of theirs to hang in the hallway.  (We had an addition put on our home which gave them a family room and bedroom - and it created a long hallway.)  We also talked about where to put the Christmas tree and what we would do for the exterior of the house.

On Sunday...well, there's no question there....FOOTBALL.  We're a family of Seahawks fans (except for my husband).

That brings us to today.  We're waiting to hear from mom's doctor to find out when her biopsy will be.  Her oncologist said he wanted to know where the cancer originated because it's rare it would have spread from her tongue.  Once the biopsy is done we'll go back to the oncologist and determine the next course.  He said without treatment she'd have two months but we need to consider quality of life rather than quantity.  More on that after the appointment.

The hardest thing today was when dad went through the paperwork from the mortuary...not just for mom but for him as well.  I know it's necessary, but it's hard. All three of us sat down and went through everything and they had me fill out all the forms.  I did that quickly (avoidance?) and sat down with mom to watch television for awhile.  She'll be showering soon and it will be "beauty shop time".  I'll set and style her hair...which I love doing as we have wonderful conversations and lots of laughs.

Mom and Dad on our vacation
to Washington in 2009 -
at a casino (of course!)

Preface to Blog

My mom is dying.  There, I said it.
                Acceptance.  

My way of dealing with all the emotions I am experiencing is through the written word; therefore, I am going to keep a journal.   It will not only be cathartic but will remind me years down the road of our journey together these last months of her wonderful life.