A Good Day

It's amazing how once decisions are made and assistance is requested deep breaths can be taken.  Two nights now have been restful.  Mom ate really well yesterday (not much but more than usual) and she asked me for her favorite soup again so I made another huge pot.  She ate a whole bowl of that along with crackers.  The medication for her anxiousness is working very well.  It makes her tired but part of that is because she's finally relaxing.

We had two surprises today --  my nephew John called and is going to try and get time off work to come down for a visit, then my Aussie "Sis" Kerrie called from down under.  Mom and Dad were thrilled to hear her voice, in fact after Kerrie and I started talking, mom was still  listening and feel asleep with the phone in her hand and a smile on her face.

Today was a good day!  I even got some photos done to post on when Kerrie first visited us in the early 70's.  Enjoy!!!

Dad, Me & Kerrie
Moses Lake, WA

Dad, Kerrie, Mom
Spokane, WA

Mom, Dad and Kerrie
Moses Lake, WA

Mom and Kerrie having fun -
Moses Lake, WA

Kerrie and Me
She's a star!!!!!

Saturday, December 28th

Mom has continued to have increased reactions to the chemo plus it exacerbated the dementia and we've been faced with paranoia and extreme anger since early yesterday morning.  She refused to take her medications or eat. We were able to get in touch with her doctor and after a long discussion, it was determined discontinuing the chemo would be best. Right after that decision was made our phone rang and it was one of mom's oldest friends, Sister Alexis - a wonderful nun living in Seattle.  She and mom have been friends since high school.  I gave her an update on what was going on and she was so loving and supportive.  I think God sent her a message to give us a call as He knew we would gain strength from her.

Mom's doctor contacted hospice and they came over around 4 p.m. and left at 10:00 p.m.  Her anger and paranoia continued until around 8:30 but finally she calmed down enough to finally eat and take her medication. The nurses that came were wonderful and encouraging. They said what mom is going through is to be expected and suggested respite care for a few days to get her back on track physically and emotionally plus give dad, Mike and me a rest. They will be giving us a call this morning to let us know if they found a bed at respite (difficult to do on weekends), and will be sending us over some new medications, etc.,

We were warned the chemo might make her dementia worse; however, we were not prepared for the magnitude. We've had bad days before but those times we were able to handle it and help mom get through it, but yesterday was totally different.  I know that if mom ever remembered what had transpired she would be mortified.....and for that part of her dementia I am grateful.  She doesn't need to know.  She was given something to keep her calm and help her sleep, and I think last night was the first time Dad slept throughout the night, which is exactly what he needed.  It's been hard on all of us but mostly on dad, he loves her so much and hates to see her like this.  At least mom and dad are with us (as well as Uncle Ray) and as I said before, we have such wonderful moral support from our friends, my son, and cousins, as well as Mike's family. You don't know how much it means to us...and now with hospice, I think we'll all be in a much better place physically and emotionally.  I'm encouraged.

Friday, December 27th

Mom had her chemo yesterday afternoon.  Mike took mom and dad so I could rest up for a possible long night.  When they got home, mom seemed to be okay but a little agitated.  Throughout the evening she settled down and ate a little but started getting extremely tired.  We took her to their family room to watch television as she said she didn't want to go to bed yet.  Dad laid down at around 10:00 so I monitored mom.  He was so very tired he fell quickly to sleep.  She did quite well, in fact, she read all the literature on the chemo she was taking and told me she knew what was happening.  She said she knew she was going to die and that she's ready, her work on earth is done. I didn't know what to say so I just held her hand and listened.  This was one of the most lucid moments she's had in a very long time, but also the most sad.  I convinced her at around 1:30 a.m. that she needed to get to bed.  She said she was itching and I looked at her arms and she had broken out into hives; a reaction to the chemo.  I read the instructions sent home with her and gave her some Benadryl.  That not only helped the itching, but helped her fall asleep quickly but before she fell asleep she woke dad up so they could say their prayers. The medication they gave her prior to treatment for nausea evidently worked as her stomach didn't act up at all.  I continued to keep an eye on her until around 4:00 a.m. then dozed.  All in all, things went much better than expected, praise God.  Hopefully she'll continue to avoid any dire effects and with dad able to get some much needed sleep, today should be a pretty good day.

Their last New Year's Eve in Vegas - hoping for
the elusive Royal Flush!
We celebrated at Arizona Charlie's.

Mike and Dad

Memories

Thought I would put the link to the memory book mom and dad were given on their 60th Wedding Anniversary.

Just click:
Mom and Dad''s 60th

They loved it and it brought back so many memories.  When I look through it now it brings back all the happy times, not just with mom and dad but when we were a family.  It also reminds me of so many people that have been special in their lives and have always stood by them.

Enjoy the walk down memory lane!!!

12/25/13

Merry Christmas everyone!  Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.  We're still struggling but the spirit is with us and we're trying to remain positive.

Mike and I were able to get away to attend Mass on Christmas Eve.  Mom had said a few days prior that she and dad wanted to go with us but she's been too sick and weak.  Her stomach is acting up again and she's still extremely confused, in the past few nights she would talk in jibberish.  I know part of it's "sundowning", but it's continuing the next morning.  Last night, when Mike and I got home she was really bad.  Dad and I ended up sitting with her throughout the night and she finally fell alseep at around 6:00 a.m., then dad was able to rest then as well.  I took a little snooze myself before starting Christmas Dinner.  Mom didn't even realize it was Christmas from one minute to the next.  It's breaking all of our hearts.  Dad and I discussed having someone come in (Hospice) to help out so we can reestablish a sleep pattern.  It's almost 11:00 pm now and she's still up and the jibberish is starting again.

She's also not eating much because her stomach is acting up...it's hard to determine why she has this off and on...the doctor doesn't know either.  We had ham, mashed potatoes and gravy, cranberry salad, etc., but she hardly touched it. Ensure helps but isn't enough.  We'll discuss it with her oncologist tomorrow as she's scheduled for chemo tomorrow afternoon. She's so sick right now, we're all afraid it's going to make her worse.  Please pray she tolerates it.


No picture today....haven't had time to scan....

Sorry this is such a depressive post, but it's what we're going through....please pray for mom and for all of us.

Monday 12/23

It's 2:30 a.m. and Dad and I are still up.  I'll explain what has transpired the last two days.

Last I wrote, mom was doing a little better emotionally but confused.  On Saturday afternoon, she went to the bathroom and right before she was coming out the door she just collapsed.  She's been very good at using her walker wherever she goes and it was in there with her.  Dad and I heard a "thud" at the same time and both went running.  She was flat on her back.  She wanted to try to get up but because her bones are so brittle (due to the cancer), her hitting her head on the linoleum and complaining of lower back pain I called 911.  We weren't going to take any chances.  Mom said she didn't trip on anything (there wasn't anything for her to trip on), she said she "just went down".  The EMTs were great and were at our home within a few minutes.  Once at the hospital they did bloodwork, a CT Scan and X-Rays.  Thank God nothing was broken.  The doctor came in and told us she had a urinary tract infection and that's what caused the dizziness.  It also explains her anger the past few days.  They watched her for awhile and sent her home with meds.

Sunday she rested all day but was still very confused.  She didn't know why she had a port in her chest, we explained it was for when she starts chemo and she didn't remember that either.  We explained everything back to when she broke her hip and she remembered bits and pieces but didn't remember her brain biopsy, the port or the cancer.  She became more agitated because she thought we had been keeping it a secret.  We didn't argue, we just let her talk.  She remained agitated all day, especially because we're making sure she didn't go anywhere by herself at all...if dad wasn't with her in the kitchen, family room or bathroom, I'd be there...we can't take the chance of her falling again as she hasn't been on the medication long enough to clear up her dizziness (or calm her down).  I know she feels like she's losing more of her independence, and that's understandable, but we need to keep her safe.

It's early Monday morning now and she has been sleeping off and on in the recliner since early evening.  Dad tried several times to get her up to go to bed but she kept saying, "in a minute".  Finally about twenty minutes ago she acquiesced and got into bed but is sleeping fitfully.  Dad and I are keeping an eye on her breathing and making sure she doesn't try to get out of bed unaided.

Once the medication kicks in I'm sure things will improve....we're all exhausted.

All of our initials after the cement was poured on
mom and dad's patio.....will bring back
great memories for years.

Friday, 12/20

Sorry I've been remiss in posting.  It's been a rough week.  Mom's biopsy confirmed the cancer did spread to her lymph nodes, the oncologist wanted a second look.  She has decided to go through with chemo and starts next week. Her dementia has been worse this week and she has been very angry.  I know a lot of the anger is from the dementia but I'm sure fear plays a part as well.  It's hard for dad and me because we bear the brunt.  During these events she refuses to eat or take her medication and isolates in her family room.  She went a complete day not speaking to me on Wednesday and I still haven't figured out why...

Her mood improved last night and today she's been better; however, she's still very confused.  Dad and I are really concerned about the chemo and how she will tolerate it.  Being she is so very weak, it's not the best situation, but it's mom's choice.  The oncologist said if she does tolerate it her life expectancy may be increased to six months so that's what we're praying for.  We just don't the treatment to weaken her further or make her sicker.

We still haven't gone to look at Christmas lights, but hope to do that either this evening or tomorrow night, depending how tired Mike is.  He's been working a lot of overtime of late, in fact he's worked last Saturday and will work again tomorrow.

My favorite pic of Mom and Dad

Monday 12/16

Mom started having pains in her ribs today...a sure sign the cancer is spreading.  The doctor said to use a heating pad and take it easy so that's exactly what she did.  She sat up in the living room for awhile and we watched t.v. and I read her some writing I had just completed.  A friend of the family called today from Las Vegas -- Leslie.  Mom and Dad were both thrilled to hear from her. We met her years ago at a small local casino in Henderson and it was like she was a long-lost daughter/sister.

We haven't heard from the oncologist yet; I anticipate a call tomorrow or Wednesday.  Hoping the heating pad works as well as increased pain meds so she can move a little easier tomorrow.

Mom, Leslie and Dad

My grandmother, Nannie, mom and me.

Saturday 12/14

It's a day of rest today.  Mom was feeling up to getting out yesterday so Dad and I took her out.  She was very confused but in good spirits. Because of our little adventure, she's very tired today and has been napping in the recliner off and on, but she definitely enjoyed getting out and about.

My dear friend Susan called today...just to check in as she does almost daily. We decided it's time to have a "girls night out"...a slumber party with mom at a suite at Harrah's (the local one). That way mom could spend a day doing her favorite thing...playing penny slots but would also be able to return to the room to rest whenever necessary, in the lap of luxury!  Dad thinks it's a great idea and not only would mom enjoy the special treatment, he would have a night to rest and relax as well.

I don't know what I'd do without Susan...she's my rock. She went through a similar experience with her mom and knows exactly what we're all going through.  It's nice to know I have a "sister" to lean on.

Me & Mom

Thursday, 12/12

Yesterday was a tough day.  Mom was really confused and didn't remember her diagnosis again.  She has another biopsy today and they are putting a port in her chest for the chemotherapy as her veins are so weak.  She couldn't understand why she was going in and got angry because she thought we were hiding something from her.  Dad gets the brunt of it and it really stresses him out.  She refused to eat or take her medication but thankfully by early evening things settled down and she finally got took her meds and got something in her stomach.   For someone who's normally sweet and positive, seeing her this way is difficult and it's hard for us to know what to do or say. We just try to remain calm and agreeable.  She's not awake yet this morning so we'll see if she's more lucid today.  She goes in at 7:00 a.m. and will be there for about five hours.  She'll  be sedated but not put under for the procedures.  When she comes home she'll be tired and will most likely sleep the remainder of the day.  Her bruises from the fall are slowly going away and I was able to set and style her hair without causing her any discomfort.

We're all looking forward to driving around tomorrow night to look at Christmas lights and going to the beach.

Mom with her great-grandsons Dennen and Merrick
several years ago.

Tuesday, 12/10

The past few days have gone pretty well.  Mom is still tired but happy.  Decorations are almost all up, we watched football Sunday and last night and she continued to eat the soup.  Last night she actually ate chicken with biscuits and gravy and then chowed down on brownies I made.

She goes in today for lab tests, prior to the beginning of chemo.  We haven't heard yet when that will begin but I anticipate probably sometime next week.  The red tape on insurance delays everything these days.

Friday is the night (hopefully) when we'll drive around San Diego County and look at Christmas lights.  Both she and dad are looking forward to that....then we'll grab some hot cocoa, head to the beach and listen to the waves.

Mom and Dad saying goodbye to their home in Vegas...
the day they moved into our home.

Saturday 12/7

Mom's Book

We had a better evening and today has been better, praise God!  Mom wanted to decorate the tree last night so we got that done and after I made a huge pot of her favorite soup she ate a whole bowl with crackers!  Today she and I sat in the living room and watched tennis, picked on each other and laughed a lot!  She ate a regular breakfast today (two waffles!) plus an Ensure and is looking forward to more soup for dinner.  I made enough to freeze so she'll have it at the ready.  She tired out quickly so she's napping now but she wants to finish up decorating the house.  She was thrilled when I found her "Night Before Christmas" book she was given at age 5, plus a little musical doll she always had out at Christmas.

Mom decorating the tree

Mom giving Mike
directions!

Starting the living room

Friday, 12/6

Yesterday was a tough one and today as well.  We went to the oncologist and he said cells from her tongue were in her lymph nodes which means, although rare, that's where the cancer originated (tongue).  The bone cancer is spreading rapidly.  The pain she has been experiencing in her shoulder is the cancer so that was a sign of how fast it's going.  She is down to 117 pounds and I told him about how little she eats.  He said to just try to keep her hydrated and continue with Ensure.  She's wanting more Egg Lemon Soup so I'm making up a bunch and freezing some...anything to keep her strong.

We discussed treatment options and he said we could try mild chemo, not as a cure but possibly to slow down the spreading; however, the risks of side-effects are there (nausea, hair loss, etc.).  Dad and I are concerned about the nausea because she's so weak already and is always nauseated (the medication he gave her didn't work) but we left the decision up to mom.  She's reluctant but wants to give it a try so that's what we're going to do.  The doctor said if she doesn't tolerate  the treatment we can stop at any time, so we'll take it one day at a time.  The prognosis is still the same as far as time, unless the chemo is tolerated and slows the spreading.  There are so many variables and it's really hard to figure it all out...She's still trying to remain active but she tires quickly.  We're just taking her lead as to what she feels up to doing.  Some days are better than others.

This was taken a few weeks
ago, before her fall.  

Wednesday, 12/4

Quiet day today.  Mom is still quite tired and napping in the recliner.  Her bruising is clearing up slowly but her shoulder is still quite sore.  I'm still amazed and grateful she didn't break anything with that fall as her bones are so brittle.  She finally had some soup and an Ensure yesterday but that was it.  She's done better today in that regard and I'm going to make some pudding later on.  Dad came down with a slight cold and slept all morning, which he definitely needed. I'm sure his defenses are down because of the situation but I'm glad he was able to sleep in; he looks rested now and he says he feels better.

Mike and I are planning an "outing" in a couple of weeks to take mom and dad around to some of the recommended-for-seeing-decorations areas of San Diego. They have always enjoyed "cruising" during the Christmas season so we'll continue the tradition here.

This is our dog, Petey's,  favorite place in the house.
In mom and dad's family room, in front of their
stove......

Tuesday, 12/3

Change is a constant in our household.  Mom had a really good day yesterday, in fact, Dad took her out for awhile.  When they got home she was in great spirits and agreed that we would decorate the Christmas tree the next day.  Well, that didn't happen....she's been in bed all day with stomach issues.  She hasn't been able to eat anything except a slice of toast but I'll try to get her to eat some broth when she wakes up.  

Dad has an appointment with his cardiologist on Thursday for a check-up as his pacemaker flitters from time to time.  I know it's stress and we're trying to get him to relax...but it's difficult. He does have a few projects in the garage he's working on to keep him busy.

Got a phone call from my cousin Steve this morning and it was wonderful talking to him. He's been such a wonderful support and it's truly appreciated.

This is the picture I used as my care-giving book cover and
the one used for the oil painting we commissioned to have
done.  

What a trio!

I got an e-mail from my Australian sis after letting her know about mom's recent fall.  She responded with a picture of her black eye that she received during her recent fall.  She wanted me to share it with mom so she wouldn't feel so bad.

After looking at Kerrie's picture and at mom, I realized they both had black, right, eyes...and then I remembered when I got hit in the head with a baseball bat, my right eye was black as well.  Mom and I got quite a chuckle about it!!!!  I think coincidentally wearing the same clothes or jewelry would be less painful!

Mom is having a good day...

Mom playing our first chord organ

Sunday 12/1

Mom seemed to be a little better this morning; however,quite confused.  She didn't eat much during the day; however, tonight she had a whole bowl of egg lemon soup and a biscuit. I think I might make a peanut butter milkshake later on and see if she'll partake....that is one of her favorites.

We did get more Christmas decoration boxes out of the garage and Mike and I put the lights on the tree. Mom worked on a little tree that we'll put on our front porch table but she tired quickly.  It might take a week or two to get everything decorated as she wants it and that's okay...whatever makes her happy.  Dad and I will go through more boxes tomorrow to find the indoor knick-knacks and nativity scenes to put in the living room.

She has no appointments until Friday when she sees her oncologist.  Not looking forward to that as I said before...but at least we'll have more answers.

Mom and Dad on the balcony of our
Palm Springs timeshare.

Saturday

Mom was really tired today so we didn't get a chance to decorate.  We're hoping tomorrow she'll be better.  You can tell by looking at her she's losing more weight even though we try to get her to eat more.  She did eat quite well at Thanksgiving but then it's days before she eats that much again.  I'm going to make her favorite soup tomorrow (Greek Lemon) and see if that helps. 

Mike and I went to Mass tonight, celebrating the first day of Advent.  Although I love this season, it's bittersweet because I know it's mom's last...it breaks my heart...not just for me but especially for dad.  He tries to remain strong but you can see the pain in his eyes.  All we can do is turn everything over to God and trust in Him.

We took mom and dad up to Modesto to visit family.
Here they are with my Aunt Millie and Cousins Iley and Anne.
 

Getting into the spirit....

Mom's soreness from her fall is better, her black eye is getting larger and bruises have formed on her cheek.  I suppose she'll be that way for a few more weeks.

We have an appointment with her oncologist next Friday to get answers on where the cancer originated and determine the next course.

Tomorrow we start decorating the house and it should be a fun day.  We'll put on favorite Christmas tunes to put us in the spirit.  Can hardly wait to see the finished product!  Mom loves decorating and she's been talking about it quite a bit so I'm sure it's going to be beautiful!!!

One of my favorites....mom and dad's reaction looking
at the memory book we created for their 60th
wedding anniversary.
Priceless!

Thankful

Happy Thanksgiving!

We'll be picking up our dinner earlier on this morning....

My mom is so cute...she insisted on setting the table last night and it looks beautiful!  She and dad made our traditional cranberry relish and salad...my stomach is growling already!

Mom and Dad received a beautiful bouquet of flowers from dear friends Jay and Mary yesterday and they are the centerpiece on our table.  They were mom and dad's neighbors in Las Vegas and became family very quickly.  They are in constant contact with us and we truly appreciate their concern, support and friendship.

When contemplating gratitude on this day, I'm grateful for all of our family and friends who have stood by us in thick and thin and who are always offering us all words of encouragement and love through the difficult times we are facing.

I'm grateful Mom, Dad, Uncle Ray and my husband will be sitting around the dinner table this afternoon.

Me & Mom

Dad and Mike

Uncle Ray, Mom and Dad

The Day After

Mom is doing better but has a big shiner.  She's sore from the fall as well but in very good spirits this morning.  She's chatting about being able to take a shower this morning so she can wash her hair and what she wants to wear for Thanksgiving dinner.

Her biopsy went well yesterday and praise God they didn't go into the bone.  They changed the method and took tissue from one of her lymph nodes which was less invasive and painful.  We were all very tired from being up the night before so the day was filled with naps once we got her home.  I had a radio interview yesterday morning and was hoping my lack of sleep didn't result in my snoring on the air!

Mike and I pulled out the Christmas decorations so once Thanksgiving is over we can start decking the halls.  We're putting the tree in the bay window so it will be directly behind the Blessed Mother grotto in the garden.  Decorating the tree is one of mom's favorite things to do so we'll start sorting ornaments, etc., after tomorrow.  Since they brought all theirs from when they moved her I can hardly wait to see them...as many are from my childhood.  More wonderful memories!

Mom & "Sis" Sharon
on our last visit to Moses Lake


THANKSGIVING BLESSINGS TO EVERYONE!

Tough Day

Dad drove mom to the hospital supply store yesterday afternoon and when they were leaving mom was moving a little too fast and missed the curb.  She fell and hit her head on the blacktop.  The store owner came out as well as other concerned observers and assisted her and dad.  The ambulance came within minutes and the paramedics called me to let me know what happened.  Mike and I rushed over to the hospital just as mom and dad got there.  The sight of mom, head covered in blood and a large goose egg on it was frightening.  Dad was white as a sheet so Mike took him home to calm down and I stayed with mom.  She started crying because she thought she was a burden to me.  I laughed and reminded her of the time I was hit in the head with a baseball bat and she sat with me...I told her she was just paying me back!  That made her smile and said, "I guess I am!".  The ER staff consisted of the most compassionate and caring people ever.  She had a ct scan and x-rays and nothing was broken but she had sprained her shoulder and had a mild concussion.  We brought her home and she's resting.  Mike and I are taking turns sitting in their family room so we can wake her up every two hours throughout the night...it's 12:30 am now and she's doing fine.  She tried to talk us into not standing watch and that she'd be okay so we made her think we were going to bed.  Mike is in there now and I'm going to take a snooze until 2:30.  Dad wanted to take a shift too but because he was so upset, we decided to let him sleep through the night, he needed it.

It's bad enough what she's already facing to have the fall happen. Sometimes I wonder why her...and I'm sure God is aware of the questions I'm holding in my heart.  I know the only thing I can do is be there for her and to trust in Him.

Mom & Dad
the day Mike & I had our marriage blessed.
4/8/06

Monday Morning

After the exhilarating football games yesterday, we all decided we had been cooped up too long.  We went out for dinner and a little entertainment at mom's favorite place.  It's obvious she's getting weaker, as we didn't stay out as long as we usually do...and she just picked at her dinner.  She's a little confused this morning and her stomach is upset again.  I told her to just relax and take a little nap but she says she feels guilty if she does that (yep, that's my mom).  When she feels guilty about napping I tell her I'll join her...that usually works. Hopefully she'll feel a little better this afternoon.

She fasts tonight and has her bone biopsy tomorrow.  She'll be at the hospital for four hours then will come home...hopefully in not too much discomfort.

Here's another one of my favorite pictures - Mom and Dad on our vacation in Madrid, Spain.

Plans are in place...

Plans are all completed for Thanksgiving.  We didn't know if we would go out to dinner (to make it easy) or cook dinner (for the leftovers).  Well, we compromised.  We are ordering a full dinner from Mimi's Cafe.  Everything is included, all we have to do is reheat the turkey...so we'll have all the aromas,the leftovers and we'll still make mom's wonderful cranberry relish and salad...without all the work.

After Thanksgiving we are going to start decorating for Christmas.  Mom and I decided to put the tree in the bay window, and Mike and I know where all the lights are going.  We're going to really deck out the house this year, inside and out. The only thing we're still trying to figure out how to decorate the cactus garden outside the bay window that holds the statue of our Blessed Mother.

I'm having a hard time knowing this will be mom's last Christmas season with us but comforted knowing the next season she'll be with Christ and with us in spirit.

This is the garden right when we planted it...the plants are quite a bit larger now...
Leave a message if you have any decorating ideas.
                                   

Trip Down Memory Lane

I was thinking back on 2009 today.  Mike and I took Mom and Dad back up to Washington for two week vacation.  We drove from Las Vegas up to Washington, down to Oregon then back to Las Vegas.  Driving was the perfect way to go as we stopped whenever we wanted to and it gave us time to chat about all the old times.  We went to Walla Walla where mom was born and raised and visited my grandparents' graves.  We were also blessed to be able to go inside the house where mom was raised.  It had been totally remodeled but when we went inside you could still feel the air of familiarity and although much larger, the main part of the house had the same floorplan.  Mom and I recalled where each piece of furniture was and enjoyed walking through the side and back yard where the trees my grandparents planted had thrived and grown tall.  When we went to Moses Lake we met up with old friends and drove around "the base" where dad had been stationed before it closed.  We went by all the houses we lived in, the places dad worked and where mom and dad's music store used to be.  It was sad so much had changed but at least we had memories.  We went across the mountains and stopped to visit Mike's sister and then on to Seattle to see my nephew John's family.  After that we went to the Portland area to visit our oldest and dearest friends...the Rye's.  They had been stationed with us in England before I was born and Tess (who has since passed) and Floyd almost delivered me in the back of the car on the way to the hospital.  We then drove back to Las Vegas through Reno.  We had many weekend trips to Reno when we lived in Washington and it brought back many fun memories there as well.

I'm so glad we took that trip, it was not only fun but I think brought us all closer together.  We laughed, cried and remembered.

Week's End

I received a beautiful e-mail from my Aussie Sis, Kerrie, today.  It was so wonderful hearing from her.  She wants so badly to see mom and I hope she does get the chance but traveling that distance as well a having elderly parents herself, I definitely understand if she can't.  Kerrie, my parents and I go way back when she was a foreign exchange student through the Lion's club in the 70's.  She instantly became a member of our family and that never changed. Whenever Mom talks to Kerrie on the phone you can see the true joy in her eyes.

I also got an e-mail from my cousin Fred who will be visiting from Washington after Christmas.  I was thrilled when he told me...and mom will be so happy to see him and his wife (as will we all!).  Fred has always had an exceptional sense of humor and ability to bring everyone to tears in laughter...which is what we all need.

Mom's bone biopsy is on Tuesday.  She'll be there for four hours and I'm sure after the procedure she'll be quite uncomfortable so we'll need to come up with some distractions...possibly a wild game of Yahtzee?

Another memory just surfaced:  This is the 50th anniversary of the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.  It was a terrible event in all of our lives. Mom was fortunate to have met him in Wyoming and he held her hand while speaking to her about the military getting raises. She came home after that and told dad he was getting a raise and he said to her, "Helen, how many times have I told you not to repeat anything unless you hear it directly from the horse's mouth?".  Well, you can just imagine the expression on his face when she told him where she heard it!!!

Here's a few more "memory" pics.  I'll be posting some of Kerrie and Fred later on...I have many to scan in to my computer.

Mom holding her first great-granddaughter, MaKenzee in 2006 with
Shannan and me.  

We ate too much lobster at lobster-fest!
2012

COINCIDENCE?

I am a night owl since retiring and do my best writing in the quiet of early morning hours.  I also do a lot of "Pinning".  It was about 11:00 p.m. and I was on my Pinterest site.  I have a board called "Dream on Homes", pictures of beautiful homes that I could probably handle living in (!).  For some odd reason I was compelled to see what real estate was available on Herron Island.   We had a weekend property there in the late 60's and my dad was starting to build a house.  They eventually sold the property and unfinished home because my sister and I were getting older and didn't want to go to "The Island" anymore and my folks were busy with their music store and dad's other job.   Well, was I just blown away when I happened upon a listing and the house looked really familiar.  IT WAS OUR HOUSE!  It was finished and beautiful! (And for sale).  I rushed into Mom and Dad's bedroom and woke mom up (bad Patti).  I showed her the picture and asked her if she knew what it was...she knew right away.  She woke up dad and he was shocked.  We looked at all the pictures in the listing and started talking about the fun times we had there. Mom then said, "Boy I would give anything to go back there."  I have to agree...it would be nice.

Now, as Leroy Jethro Gibbs always says, "I don't believe in coincidences".  God, in His infinite kindness, compelled me to look for that property...to bring more precious memories to light for mom.

Here's the link to the listing:  THE ISLAND

Friends

Mom is at the cardiologist now to have her pacemaker checked and we're still waiting to hear when her biopsy will be. The oncologist called and said they are going to do a bone biopsy as it would show more definitively where the cancer originated...and said the hospital will be calling sometime today to set up the appointment. I stayed home to catch that call and dad drove her to her appointment....

Dad and I realized something today that we hadn't considered before... but are now prepared for:  Mom was aware of the diagnosis as well as the prognosis and at first, obviously, she cried as did we all, but then she perked up and the time involved was not brought up again.  Because of her dementia she had forgotten. When the oncologist called this morning she had dad ask him how much time she had left.  After he ended the call Dad sat down and told her (realizing she had forgotten) and all the emotions spilled out again... I had just picked up a call from my dearest friend, Sue, and mom came into the living room and interrupted me with a question ...  "Patti, will you promise me something?  Will you make sure all the days I have left are good ones?"  Well, I lost it....but promised we all would, including Sue and her husband Bob...they love my parents as if they were their own and they're always here for us. With Uncle Ray and my wonderful husband the only immediate family around, it's good to know Dad and I have them as well as other friends willing to be here for support at any time.

Mom, Dad, Bob and Susan
Last Thanksgiving

Early Morning Coffee

I pulled an all-nighter working on a book so when the sun came up, Mike had already gone to work and I was on my third cup of coffee.  Mom surprised me by going into the kitchen, grabbing a cup of coffee and joining me the living room (she usually sleeps in).  We watched a little t.v. and then started talking about all sorts of stuff.  She said she had a dream of a recipe I shared with her and she woke up craving it!  (Shrimp with Lime).  We decided we were going to make it sometime this week once we found out what lime "zest" was...I'm not a foodie so didn't know what it was - thank goodness for Google!   We then got into a conversation about Thanksgiving ... cook here or go out. Guess we'll decide by this weekend...We both agreed it would be easier to go out but then we wouldn't  have all those wonderful leftovers and I so much love her cranberry salad and relish.  Decisions, Decisions.

We went through some pictures on my laptop - I have all sorts of albums saved.  She enjoyed going through the slides I converted over to jpeg, especially those from Morocco.

Here's one of those pictures:

Mom with our maid (Fatna Omar)
who we affectionately called Nanna.

The Weekend

For those of you who know my mom, you know she loves casinos.  For someone so frail, her walker will burn rubber if she sees a slot machine she wants to play.

Dad and I took her out on Friday night to her favorite place, Valley View, ate dinner and played.  What I really enjoyed was when all three of us were sitting side by side playing the same type of slot and having "contests"...giving each other a hard time when we have to "feed the beast".   We won some and lost some (heaven forbid we cash out and bring $$$ home!)  but a wonderful distraction.  We crept back into our home quietly (to avoid waking my husband and uncle) at around 1:00 a.m.

Because of Friday's adventure, Saturday was a day of rest and deciding what pictures of theirs to hang in the hallway.  (We had an addition put on our home which gave them a family room and bedroom - and it created a long hallway.)  We also talked about where to put the Christmas tree and what we would do for the exterior of the house.

On Sunday...well, there's no question there....FOOTBALL.  We're a family of Seahawks fans (except for my husband).

That brings us to today.  We're waiting to hear from mom's doctor to find out when her biopsy will be.  Her oncologist said he wanted to know where the cancer originated because it's rare it would have spread from her tongue.  Once the biopsy is done we'll go back to the oncologist and determine the next course.  He said without treatment she'd have two months but we need to consider quality of life rather than quantity.  More on that after the appointment.

The hardest thing today was when dad went through the paperwork from the mortuary...not just for mom but for him as well.  I know it's necessary, but it's hard. All three of us sat down and went through everything and they had me fill out all the forms.  I did that quickly (avoidance?) and sat down with mom to watch television for awhile.  She'll be showering soon and it will be "beauty shop time".  I'll set and style her hair...which I love doing as we have wonderful conversations and lots of laughs.

Mom and Dad on our vacation
to Washington in 2009 -
at a casino (of course!)

Preface to Blog

My mom is dying.  There, I said it.
                Acceptance.  

My way of dealing with all the emotions I am experiencing is through the written word; therefore, I am going to keep a journal.   It will not only be cathartic but will remind me years down the road of our journey together these last months of her wonderful life.